You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
