hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
