I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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