Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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