Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
