YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
