You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
