I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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