thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
