I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so that wasnt chicken after all
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
