sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
