I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
