I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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