I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
