I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
