Swine flu. Run for my life!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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