I've blown a few things in my day
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
