i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
