Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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