you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We left an ass print on the piano.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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