Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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