what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
