im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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