If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
