I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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