It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
