I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
