I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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