Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize