i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
