new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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