i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
