So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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