did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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