Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I have post one night stand depression
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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