singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
