i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
