That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
