remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
