What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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