Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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