can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
