Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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