this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
