is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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