too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
