can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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