im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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