love makes seman taste better
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
