We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
