I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
