if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
