Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
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I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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