Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
