careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
