Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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