I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
