Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
