Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Holy sore nipples Batman
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
