My brain says no but my pants say off.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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