I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
